Welcome
I’m so grateful you’re here!
Hi, I’m Cindi,
a holistic family life coach using The Adult Chair® model in my coaching practice. I have 30 years of experience as a Pediatric Home Care Nurse and former Funeral Director, coaching and collaborating with couples and families as they adapt and recover from adversity, trauma, &/or tragedy.
I help by teaching straightforward, uncomplicated tools that guide you to STOP reacting to life and instead START responding to yourself and others from a healthy place of self-awareness and balance.
My job is to create a safe place to support you right where you are, all while discovering who you are truly meant to be.
I grew up in a strict, but loving family. At 15, life shifted when I found out my family was filled with secrets, alcoholism, gaslighting and triangulation. My Dad was a rager. Especially during holidays or other special events. He acted one way with others but at home he was scary. From a young age I remember consoling my Mom and my Dad, to desperately try and keep the peace. Unfortunately, their marriage modeled a gross power struggle between them. During these times their relationship was chaotic and unstable.
They coped with their triggers and anxiety by being critical, dismissive and avoidant. When I would try to bring up how I felt, I was told I was causing trouble, just being silly, and starting arguments. I was told to be seen and not heard and that I was just way too sensitive for having any emotional needs or feelings at all. I coped by being hyper attuned and hyper vigilant to my surroundings, walking on eggshells to see what mask to put on to protect myself.
“These generational cycles of trauma, these unspoken truths, kept me in repeated patterns of being abused and manipulated in every area of my life.”
I was caught in cycles of codependency and dysfunctional relationships. I thought my worth depended on things outside myself because deep down inside, I believed no one liked me for who I was. I must be unlovable. My feelings, needs, and existence were a burden for other people. I tried to be perfect. To go along to get along. I learned from a young age to “crap” fit myself in horrible situations just to connect to the people I thought I loved and needed and who I thought loved and needed me too.
After a painful divorce from a 23 year toxic marriage, I began to look at the common denominator. I spent my life praying for a healthy adult to come into the room, to tell the others to knock it off, to act according to the Spirit. I realized that healthy adult had to be - ME!
My goal was to stop having painful responses to my triggers. I had to find compassion for myself and others who have had to carry their own shame and trauma. Nothing lasted – not talk therapy, not counseling – until The Adult Chair®. The Adult Chair® showed me how to release the repeating patterns that created these generational, dysfunctional cycles.
I have been on a healing journey my entire life. The Adult Chair® has given my authentic self a voice and tools for empowered living every day and I want the same for you.
My job is to create a safe place to support you right where you are, all while discovering who you are truly meant to be – the essence of you.
Despite a life of predicaments, with Don't Despair Coaching, I help you heal your relationship with yourself so you can heal your relationship with others!
